What To Do With Sadness?
Most people do not like feeling sadness and I often hear them say “I want to get rid of it”. I tell you this is the last thing you want to do with sadness, as it is a noble, worthy emotion that has much to offer you.
What could sadness possibly offer you? If offers you the opportunity to rejuvenate, release, and become grounded and more flexible. These are the beautiful gifts sadness offers you – if you allow it to be felt, honoured and accepted.
I like to think of all my emotions as little kids. The ones I don’t like are the kids I’ve kicked out of the house. When I feel these emotions it’s like they are banging on the door asking to be let back in. For the most part our culture has taught us that certain emotions are negative and should be kept outside of the house.
Now think of some child (literally) crying outside your door, huddled in the rain and crying. Would you seriously not open the door and comfort this sad wet child? Most of you would, for most of you have compassion and empathy for others.
What I’m suggesting here is that you start having compassion and empathy for your own crying, wet, sad feelings. See it as a little kid, detached from the adult you, and open the door and begin a dialogue with your sad emotions.
When you feel sad, simply pop into your own inner reality and talk to yourself. Say hello to the sadness (it will be shocked that you are addressing it at all!) begin a dialogue with it. Comfort it and find out what it needs and meet those needs.
If you go into the mind chat of “I’m just making all this up” then just be aware of this inner argument. Yes you are making it up (the answers you posed to the sadness), but you are also making your whole life up – I’m just suggesting you get more aware or conscious of what you are making up!
When I sit in my sadness, it feels like sitting in a deep well of clear refreshing water. And this fills me up and makes me feel better. I have more energy when I allow sadness into my house, rather than expending energy trying to keep the door closed.
When you release, it restores the flow of the waters of your system. Think of your chakra system like a river or stream – what you call blockages are actually boulders in the stream and every time you release or remove a boulder (sadness expressed), then the waters can flow more easily.
Tears may be shed and this is helpful to the restoration process. However, it is imperative that you be mindful of the way you talk to yourself as you cry. If you are critical, harsh or negative (which is how most people are programmed to be when sadness surfaces) then that will only make your sadness feel worse and lead you into despair or despondency.
Listen to your thoughts as your sadness emerges. Do you say “oh for goodness sakes, there’s the horrid sad feeling again – I hate it”. Imagine telling the sad child outside your door that you hate it and go away. Instead, when you feel sad say something like “oh there you are my little beloved. You feel sad – let me hold you and I will cry with you. Let me grab some tissues and we’ll cry together”.
You may also wish to apologize to your sadness and ask for its forgiveness for ignoring it for so long – for you were innocent in that you did not know how to talk with your sadness. Also ask your sadness the all-important questions; “what needs to be mourned” and “what must be released”? Then create an answer – give voice to the sad character living inside you and you will soon feel refreshed and revived.
Now off you go to enjoy your sadness and welcome it back into your house. When you can truly let go, rejuvenation and relaxation will surely follow.